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is this seat free?



So, after you think you have seen it all, I checked in and thought I was running late. Couldn't find somewhere to seat at the D34 KLM departure lounge. I walked towards a free-standing space next to a wall to lean on it. When I suddenly heard two ladies, or should I just say two female adults talking rather loudly. whilst I was still trying to get my head around what the conversation was about, I just saw lady number two reach over and slap lady number one hard across the face "yelling am I your mate?!?" A typical Nigerian expression you hear during fights.

Omg it turns out that lady number one was trying to save the seat next to her for an elderly woman who got up to go buy water. An important fact to note about this, is that none of these women are related to the elderly woman. So lady number two ignores lady number ones initial comments which must have made her say something rude which resulted in an early morning cat fight entertainment.

In a normal world where all things were alright it would have just ended with the comment that seat isn't free.  Somewhere between the lines something must have gone wrong and all hell broke loose, pushing, yelling louder, the Nigerian light weight boxing match had been opened at gate D34. Please note that lady number two had her 5-year-old son with her.

As usual when a fight breaks out people try to separate the contending parties. Well I did what I had learnt a long time ago, I took off and stayed clear of trouble.  My mum always advised us to stay as far as possible away from fights whilst growing up. I still do it cos in this case having dreadlocks being en route Amsterdam and getting involved in a fight might not do me any good.

Anyways the crowd plus the oyibo people that were there got involved. The flight attendants managed to finally separate them, but they were still yelling. I couldn't understand for the love of me what had gotten into the ladies. Why would someone do stuff like that whilst waiting to board a flight, an international flight for that matter. We weren't waiting for a molowe or BRT?!?(local bus service in lagos)

Back to the fights different people play different parts in this real-life drama. The peacemakers who try to put an end to the fight, the audience that cheers on for their entertainment and the fight accelerators who keep pouring kerosene into the fire.

So a couple of passengers as required in a Nigerian fight started to yell "get them off the flight “, “don't let them board I don't feel safe". They should be more mannered, whilst all what they were saying was true they didn't need to make the situation any worse. The officials were already at the crime scene as I would like to call it.  The fighting ladies were led out of the boarding area and the remaining passengers started having debates on who was right or what reaction would have been better.

I couldn't help but ask myself under what kind of pressure an individual would have to be to act like that. I mean would they have done the same thing anywhere else in the world. Or was it a scheme made to distract the airport officials from noticing sometime else. I don't know but I guess we will never know. I believe the ladies didn't make their flight. But this is the reality there is definitely a certain kind of madness that sometimes comes with being Nigerian.  I mean I could have chosen to be rude back to the young immigration officer who forgot that even if he was saying the right thing that his job and courtesy actually required him to be polite.

It is rather sad but true ...good bye my homeland till we meet again.


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