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Road Trip - And your husband left you alone?

Sometimes my friends do not understand when I say certain things but there is a norm and a standard back home. A silent non-written agreement about how one's life is meant to go as a woman. So as I embarked on one of my many road trips to cover my first stop Ibadan. Totally excited to visit my 2nd brother and his family. I hadn't seen my nephew since he was born early in the year.

I had the possibility to commute using the following options : get a private driver to drive you down if you have one, take a drop or join a shared vehicle. I wouldn't dare say walk but I wouldn't rule out the possibility that they maybe people forced to do so.

I went for option two since I wasn't adventurous about the shared vehicle. That's how I met Comrad a rather funny but straightforward honest army officer. As we started the journey, joining the Lagos Ibadan expressway, we drove past the motorways center. I recalled driving to that building from monday to friday for over a year many years back. I mentioned to Comrad that I wasn't sure if I would have the nerves to do it again after such a long time. He simply replied "ask your husband to arrange it for you". At this point I thought to myself I am not wearing a wedding ring or am I ?!? Oh but in Nigeria it doesn't matter because the silent norm dictates that a woman my age must already be married and not single!

So i decided to play along and replied yes I will. Then he asked, where is your husband? After a moment of silence I decided the suitable answer was "he doesn't have any holidays , he is working, so he couldn't come back this time". With huge eyes he said 'And your husband left you to travel alone? If you were my wife I wont let that happen. AH?!? there you have it, I could see my freedom disappearing in right before my eyes. I don't regret any decisions I have made till now, the way I have chosen to live my life. Roughly about 30 minutes into our Road trip I now know what Comrad does, how many children he has and from how many women. It was only fair he expected me to reciprocate. So how many children do you have ?

Children?!? hmm as much as I love children and I believe in calling things that be not as though they were, I decided to keep the story less complicated even though I already anticipated what his reply to my answer would be. I still replied "oh we don't have children yet, we are working on it"

He looks at me and says you know time is going and you are a woman. Time is not your side oh, You have to hurry up. I still replied saying that we are working hard at it. Don't worry next year he says and I think if you say so Comrad then I will say Amen to that :-)

So here's a complete stranger lecturing me about my marital status and family planning. And somehow I know I will have the same conversation within the next four days with my mom and numerous relatives that attended my siblings weddings that now feel like they have earned the right to ask . And here I was thinking I was going on a road trip but somehow I got an extra marriage counseling session  for free:-)





Comments

  1. Chioma22 December 2013 at 15:06

    It's an anticipated general concept of life in our country ( to a lesser extent also the world in general) and to be honest I do not know who heightens the anticipation more men or women)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Liesel8124 December 2013 at 13:40

    hmm i think its both... some women worry cos they can't handle what people would say and some men feel the need to just put it out there

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown29 March 2020 at 23:27

    This is also part of the follow follow... Spending lot of money for the ceremony and behaving like you are happy during marriage

    ReplyDelete

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